10. Everyone blames the youth pastor. It is always the youth pastors fault.
9. You have the lowest salary right next to the church facilities manager. But remember we are called to youth ministry and we just love kids; and that is why we get paid minimum wage.
8. The other ministries always want for the youth to help out at their event, but they never want to help out at the youth events.
7. Everybody believes all you do is play on the computer and “hang out” with students. Only if they knew.
6. Youth pastors are expected to be at every church event, on top of planning and programming all youth events.
5. The church administrator/secretary. Why are they always up in our business? Why do they need to know what is always going on? We got this. It is called a controlled chaos.
4. Home school kids. Do I need to say more? The classic question from a home school parent is: Why is my son not connecting with the other students?
3. When leaders yell at students.
2. Our cell phone bills. Seriously no matter how hard I try, I am always going to go over my minutes and especially my text messages.
1. Parents who do not care about their kids. Seriously this kills me and my soul. A few weeks ago I had a student waiting for his dad to pick him up after our mid week program. I asked him if his dad always picks him up late and he almost started to cry. I asked him where his dad was and the student said he is at the movies with his new girlfriend. The student looked at me and said it bothers me that he cares about everything else except me.
14 comments
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July 3, 2008 at 8:28 pm
lanceandjenn
Don’t youth pastors have to look cool and trendy with cool haircuts and stuff as well?
July 4, 2008 at 2:24 am
Yvette
On number 8. Here’s something our men’s ministry has done for years for the youth. Every summer they have a bake sale/silent auction. What makes it so cool is that the men actually bake the cakes. They try so hard. Sometimes they are decorated really cool. A lot of love goes into it.
Now the proceeds are split between the youth and the children for camp, but it started out as a service to the youth ministry. They raise quite a bit of money this way, with no upfront money from the church. The guys donate their cakes.
It’s not really helping at an event, but it is a ministry getting involved to help out the youth.
There’s an idea for your youth ministry world.
July 4, 2008 at 4:04 am
brian
1 & 8…
July 5, 2008 at 1:09 am
brianskirk
I particularly relate to number 8! In addition to being asked to bus tables, wash dishes, etc at church events, I can’t count how many time I’ve been asked by church members to round up a few kids to move an old sofa out of their basement or clean out their gutters, etc, as if I’m running some sort of odd job agency. Great List!
July 5, 2008 at 3:45 am
Dan
#8
Teenagers are the slave labor force of many congregations and the youth pastor is their taskmaster.
July 5, 2008 at 3:05 pm
alaina
The best thing that ever happened to axing out number 8 at my church was the formation of a a group of retired men (and sometimes their wives) called the Nehemiahs. Their specific ministry purpose is manual labor for church members and church facilities that need it. the youth is no longer the default we-need-someone-to-xyz. Except the busing tables at the annual turkey-sausage dinner. Ugh.
my addendum to #5–the custodian. yikes.
July 6, 2008 at 1:40 am
Ben Green
I associate with all of them, especially number four and one. We run about 15 students at our services, about four of them, their parents attend. I know they love their kids, but their church relationship is not right. It breaks my heart to see these kids attending regularly without their parents.
July 7, 2008 at 1:28 am
amykay
i just posted about one of my frustrations… parents who complain about ridiculous things!!! i just had a message after an event… apparently i didn’t have the air conditioning on high enough and it was a ’serious health concern’. thank you for posting this– reminds me i am not alone in my frustration!!
July 7, 2008 at 3:18 pm
youthpastoradam
#8 I had never really made this connection before. I have always been a part of churches that want the youth to help out, but never thought about how they’re never around to help out when I need them. All of them are true, but #8 just really got me today!!!
July 7, 2008 at 8:08 pm
jztothejc
seems like #8 rings true for a lot of youth pastors.
also the complaining parents! how many times have we had to bite our lip and just take the verbal beatings?
July 8, 2008 at 3:55 am
Jeff z.
Re #1
Thank you for your deep compassion.
If nothing else, Jesus was compassionate.
How your respond to his honesty about his pain is important. Acknowledge and accept and honor his pain and anger. Be present with him. Listen without judgment.
Arranging time with an experienced, licensed therapist may also be very helpful.
Best wishes,
Jeff z.
July 8, 2008 at 6:06 pm
Lars Rood
Hey Man—-Talk to your Executive Pastor. Tell him you need these things to change.
Rumor has it he was a youth guy forever and feels your pain.
I echo a lot of your frustration. What we need is more people though to stay in Youth Ministry for the long haul. The problem with most youth pastor positions is they tend to be entry level and many people go from one entry level youth position to the next without sticking around long enough to let the position grow into something different.
That’s my take.
July 8, 2008 at 6:25 pm
jztothejc
Yes my Assistant Pastor goes out of his way to eliminate these frustrations. Why? Because he gets it.
October 22, 2008 at 5:30 pm
danielbalc
#10 I embrace this. It is not frustrating at all.
#9 I don’t know the other salaries but I’m treated fairly
#8 I don’t feel the same as the rest of you and I have no idea why.
#7 That’s true though, That is all I do
#6 Another area where I am quite blessed. I love being at as many events as possible, but our Senior Pastor is adamant about us not being at everything. If I want a Sunday off I just ask. I never get a no.
#5 Ok this one I can relate to. I think of the secretary as my arch-nemesis. Especially when it comes to insurance things. “Make sure that if a kid is skateboarding in the parking lot that he is wearing a helmet and pads.” AHHHHHHH
#4 We have a good mix. I like our HSers. They blend pretty well.
#3 Hasn’t happened yet in my 3 years. Man I’m blessed.
#2 This one was killing me till I talked the Senior Pastor into a group calling plan with unlimited text
#1 Yes, yes and more yes. I completely agree.
What I would add is the parents that think their kids are too mature for youth group. “my daughters on a different level spiritually.” These also tend to be the parents whose kids are dating when they are sophomores and who end up having had 12 boyfriends in 4 years of HS.
That is another frustration. Encouraging your kids to date. I see zero positive results from kids dating in HS. But this shouldn’t be an area of church legalism as much as it should be parents wanting the best thing for their kids and actually enforcing some rules on them.
Last but not least of my frustrations are the parents who demand way too much from their kids academically while giving very little consideration to their spiritual growth. “I can’t do small groups because I have AP homework do.” “I can’t come to youth group because have a project to get ready for.” “I can’t come to church this Sunday because I have a volleyball game and I want to get a scholarship.”
Poor little workaholic kids are already burned out with life and they haven’t even lived it.